Sometimes, crying is the best solution. I remain silent and laugh and smiling. Inside, I'm falling apart. Literally falling apart. I'm tired mentally, physically and emotionally. I'm not strong like I use to. I need shoulder to rely on. I need someone that just be there and hug me and say the right words to me. I'm emotionally drain. I f***ed up things. I'm just so tired. Never felt this tired before. I just need someone.

PHONE 

I have phone also didn't do good to me. I rather see my phone being smashed or already like broken into pieces. You see, I have phone, nothing good. Except, you can get in touch or something. But other than that, make my life easier? No. Make my life worst. Just about I'm wanna use this fancy phone really high-tech, got problem. Have to send to technician check how's my phone. Since I bought it, I only use it like few months. And I send it to the store back and now it's about a month now. So yeah. Got sial or something. If I know that gonna be happen to me, I never bought that stupid phone. Rather being called old-fashioned bitch than got messed up my own head. This and that. lalalala Really stupid actually. I hate my life. I hate my phone. I hate everything around me. Even my laptop I'm using right now, got problem. Really messed up. Stupid. Fed up. I literally hate my life and everyone in it. I'm suck. Suck suck suck suck suck. Stupid stupid stupid. Fed up! F E D U P! All I need ..................................................................................................... I  HATE  MY LIFE! I HATE EVERYTHING! I messed up my own head. I messed up my own life. I messed up everything. 

S T U P I D!

BARISAN NASIONAL OR PEMBANGKANG?

 

Well, from where I lived. Everywhere I go got BN flags. Like seriously, Are you 'rasuah' your own people? LOL Take it as joke. Everyone have their own choice. But, unfortunately for government workers. Pity. For all this time, I love Malaysia. But, the love it just stays there. Ain't go anywhere. I love you guys, but no. Rasuah here and there. What really humiliate for me as the citizen of Malaysia, Malaysia is the highest case rasuah rasuah you know. Like seriously, people from overseas look up to us and yet, rasuah here and there. Kopi here and there. How Malaysia mok maju that way. Do mistake, bagi rasuah. Done. I'm not being as pengkhianat but, I'm not supporting any of you guys. I follow the flow. I feel like it's better without what you guys call it government i guess. Dude, excuse me if you can take my opinion of or just think that I'm a stupid young lady who doesn't know shit. Face the fact, I lived and here and there got TECHNOLOGY. lalala PKR or BN or DAP or whatever, everyone have their own weakness. If you guys combined you ideas on how to make every state is a well-known to overseas, try it. Give it a shot. Why so cetek? I though you guys rule us by Al-Quran. butttt noooooooooooo, you don't want. You think you know the best for the citizen. Here I give you a hint, minyak pun naik harga, even sugar! Sugar for you guys to make coffee even naik harga. Pity la on the citizen. When the time for voting, how's the new ruler, everyone act so nice on people. 'If I win this that this that' bah, where? nothing change. Still the same. bit, everything naik harga. Even pegi makan kat kdai makan pun ada gov tax. Haiya. You guys only make the citizen become poorer. I know you guys make every company give the workers 800 min. ya pun, some of them have to buang keja. Why, to support that 800 give to every worker but everything got gov tax. But, where the money go? All I know, kontroversi here and there. Pelik la. Saya bukan pengkhianat. I just giving  my opinion. lala peace (Y)

TOO MUCH

 

For a start, I hate my life. Like literally. I really mean it. I guess so. So, tonight I'm gonna write a little bit what had happened lately. Like seriously, so much. My feelings? Ashamed, angry, sick to my stomach. Like, dude. Pointing finger here there kan, not gonna make everything better. As you can see, you curse fuck that, fuck this put as status put in the group. Dude! How old are you? Like seriously. yes, the college suck. Every student complaint about a little bit about the college. Think carefully before you speak out. Jangan suka hati kau nak madah bukan2. Ko pike kau sama? Perdana Menteri? Datuk Bandar? Huh! What the fuck? Complaint ke pihak atasan konon. Pffffffftttttt. Ko nga kelak, sapa malu. Ya Allah, the staff don't even complaint about you for not attending the class like what, about a month? But, when they do those freaking ly stupid mistake, wah wah wah. Amok nya? Alololololo, tok kmk timang2 nya gak. Kau ya, ku gigit ko kelak eh. HAHAHA Think dude. Look, yes the management really suck. Like seriously suck. I know. Blame the principle. Not them. Why them. Pity on them la. They only human. So do you. Put yourself in their place, for crying out loud. You only know yourself. Think la. You make the college as if you father own it and you can doo as you pleased. Walk in and out anytime. Don't you ever think that not now but someday people gonna talk how bad you were. Huh? Shame on you. Same to you, curse here and there. Act so cool, tough. Picit kelak. HAHA Look, even though you say you don't care what they think. People judge dude! Accept it. Where have you guys live? Like seriously, this matter happen over and over again. Haiya. Ada otak, pike lah. Where your brain go? Huh? Lubang burit kau? Cne ko engkah otak kau? You think everyone can take it as a joke ka? No! People are not you, douchebag. Act so cool, tough, matured. Eh, I ask you. Matang bena ka kau. Mun ko dah bena matang, x perange ko mcm ya eh. Kus smangat. Taik kau. Org dolok idup hbis stakat form 3, gik dpt bbli brg. Coba takorg gak, gik idup x d tggal mantak? uuuuuuaaaaaa. Pike la. Ni otak? Aku ngakuk, tmpt ya nang terok. Terimak la. Hisap rokok nun. Mun bena pun cdak plah crita eh, agak ko principle. Tanyak bah. Hey, don't mad at me posting this kind of stuff. I've been holding back too much. pffffttttt~

SOME WORDS ARE TOO HARSH TO HANDLE

 

Yea, what I meant by the title up there. Yes, no one have the right to get moody all the sudden without like any reason. What are they? Insane? I know. I become all moody all the sudden because I'm desperate to find money so that, even though i'm like broke, no one knows. And now, im stuck between my stupid bills and the tickets. It just, I wanna say it to you, but i'm scared that you will be more upset. Like, everything have to goody-goody words. And i'm not that type. When I'm mad, all i want to do, I curse. Curse curse. What I mean by cursing is like f*ck. Like even i'm just using the f*ck word to describe how mad i am towards other stuff and you take that as the reason for you to upset. For now, all I want is you to be my friend. Not my boyfriend. Can't you see it? How can I express it you when you can't noticed when i want you to be my friend and my soul mate. I'm just stressed out dude. Yea, like one time i'm using dude. It just a word. doesn't mean anything, and what did you do? i just, heart break when i just want to use that word just to express those fucking feelings. and yea,with this attitude, you shouldnt be with me.

SOMETIMES WE CANNOT TELL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GEMS AND DIAMOND. 

SAME AS FRIEND AND REAL FRIENDS.

Before I start cursing and let the bad words being wrote and you guys reading it, I wanna say sorry for being so RUDE, I guess. But, by typing the blog and express my feeling into the blog is the only way for people to read and understand what I'm trying to tell. Tonight, 23 December 2012 I've been, I called it learning, about friendship. Friendship. Life is all about friendship. Nehh, cut the crap. Life is all about FAMILY. Whether you are fall or  whatever, there's always family to be there. Friends? Yes they do. If there's a 10 people, only a few that we can call them friends. There's no such thing as REAL FRIENDS. bla bla bla. Yes, you are my friend. Real friends is you husband or your wife. The person who shared your deepest darkest secret ever. Yes, you as friend know my secret but not THE SECRET I'VE BEEN KEEPING FOR YEARS type of secret. Do you know what I meant. It means that, before you get married, you have your friends, appreciate them. For better or for worst. Yes, family is the first one and the last one. No one perfect as you may seem. You can judge but you can't predict or tell any BULLSHIT story. You talk about what you saw. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? IF YOU ARE THE FRIENDS THAT PEOPLE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT FRIENDSHIP, THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING SHIT BEHIND BUT NOT CONFRONT? ARE YOU FUCKING PERFECT TO JUDGE? Every time dude. Every time. Yes, I've been there, I've been fool by own sister. Yes I get it! duh! Like what the fuck?  I know. The whole world know. I've tried, they tried. You guys? Do you even tried to talk to her or you guys talk shit behind her back. Like seriously guys, be nice. I'm backstabbing bitch. What do you aspect? I'm only human. But' I'm trying to change. You guys? Act like your age.  Dude, think? Look in the mirror and ask yourself, what do you have that they don't have and what do they have and you doesn't have? Before you judge people, have been there in their shoes? Yes, sometimes talking shit about people is fun shit to do. But always. You the one who act shitty all the time. I know, I've been a bitch. People have their own perspective, don't forget that. Without the bitches, the slut, the world may not be colourful. Might be fucking bored if people are so nice to each other.

PIECE OF MY MIND

Hey, what's up guys? I'm here to tell you guys a piece of mind. Lately, as you guys know me before I'm a free hair and now, Alhamdulilah I'm change. Slowly. Look, I know where my place are. I've been smoking for like 6 years now and looks like there's no way to end it. And yet, I will try my hardest to stop. It's just so hard and it's my fault for not like at least try to stop. Like, yea. I know girls who wears hijab is a women who they can look up to or I don't know. Maybe as the example to change. As for me, I know it's has been an embarrassment for me and I'm ashamed of myself for not like stop smoking immediately. It's like a drug addicted. And yet, people judge. 

And lately, might be I've been using Pashmina wrongly and make myself look really stupid or I don't know what's on their mind. I don't know what cross their mind if they sees woman or girls using Pashmina type. I know and I admit that sometimes I do feel uncomfortable using it. And yet, it's mine body, my head. Not them and sometimes it hurts. Like really hurts when people judge as if they are so perfect. Sometimes, I hope their mind are expose to the world not just their face. If you know what i mean. Like seriously, there's a thing here called TECHNOLOGY that they can use to surf the internet. To explode their mind with stuff, even stupid stuff. Like what the heck. Just read it and understand it. I don't ask you to remind every single word. Like seriously, nowadays some kids are so stupid because of this technology they only can do facebook, or twitter or whatever social network has been develop. Let me just stay crystal clear here, I'm not pointing who and what it just like. STOP JUDGING. Like, look in the mirror and ask yourself before you judge people what do you have and he/she doesn't, and what do he/she have that you doesn't have. Like seriously, we all have our own weakness. Not because of their weakness is so obvious that you can use it as a weapon to bring him/her down. Look, basically our life is in circle. and yet, to make this clear, I DO BELIEVE IN KARMA. Why? Like I said, our life is in circle. Anything can happen. As long as you live, you have no right to judge whether from their house, their style or whatever. Just be human. Be wise. Humans do mistake. Keep that in mind. If you think you are so perfect, ASK YOURSELF. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE LORD'S PLACE. Sometimes, people who judge other people is the ATTENTION SEEKER. I'm here just saying. 

We here live only once, be nice. I won't bite, some people won't bite. So, why must us be judgmental freak?