no conclusion

what's the point say i love you to each other like every minute but there's no trust. i have no idea. what's the point live on this earth with the guy you love, but can't do anything. or else he's mad. what's point? i like to cry, i like to scream but for what. i cursed him, say bad things about him. but in the end, i still loving him. what is happening to me is that i feel like all this while and all i do for him is never enough and all i do is making his trust in me disappear. when he say to me just to take care of my feelings and he lied. the simple thing i ask for him that to trust me. how can i show him the proof but he's never letting his side of feeling to trust me. he still thinks i'm the old one. but i'm not. i'm changing. not every stubborn or girl like me who always make trouble couldn't change. felt like i was so stupid believing and do whatever he ask for. sometimes i look like kindda bad person, but inside i still want to change. i want to change but feeling like no one supporting me including him. he ask for me to change but he way he ask is really hurting my feeling. i get to know that all this while he has no trust to me just because of old stuff happen back there. i was like, my heart is breaking into FUCKING pieces. what's the point we two coupled up but for one month and all we do is fight? what i can do is smiling and giving up. when he's started to believing in me because what i need is his trust. he wants proof but i can't gave him proof. why? he's not believing every thing i say or do. this is really frustrating. he's telling story about us. he knows where to let go. but me? i'm way cross the line.