Tuesday, March 29

miss the old fun

i miss you.  i miss the way you use to be. 'tampa palak' or 'paluk burit' is no more fun. it becoming hurtful. it's not cool dude when u scream into my face in front of your friends. i not even know who you are for now. how u feel i scream at you that time and your friends immediately look at you. u must feel that u being embarrassed, right? scream into your fucking face when everyone looking at you. well, for your information i felt that way. it's not cool to do that with a girl, am i right? you have shown your true true colour. and i not even like the way you are now. yes, like u say. i'm still the way i used to be. and you change into someone disrespect unwanted attitude for a boy that is being love by a girl that ask her friends opinion how to deal with this kind of stuff. they said be patient. but for how long? for you information, you have never seen me like i used to be. don't even ask. u the first boy that my patient towards you is being tested. and you easily said that, i'm not changed at all. for god's sake, you THE FIRST BOY and i'm not even tried to cheat behind you dude. and u said i'm not change at all. looks like, you not even tried to accept me for the who i am. i'm trying to accept you. is that so hard for you to trust me. i smoke, u scream at my friends. oyeah!! that's what really LOVE about you. what next? beat me to death? haish. i'm so furious by your attitude, give me back my mohamad zulharizan like he used to be. just be you. not being someone else. you seems like you tried to be someone else.

Thursday, March 24


i waited for you. for the day i came back from school. i wait for you to call. but nothing. im trying to be nice im sick of pretending like i love to fight w you. im sick of crying and im sick of seeing you hurt. what i wanna say is that even though i messed up, please don't pushed me away like that. yes, i hurt your feeling when i did that to you. but im sick of fighting w you. what for i fight and cursed you but deep in my heart i still can forget what i did to you. i'm sorry. i may not be enough for you, i may not the prefect girl u always wanted but please, dont pushed me away. im sitting in front of my laptop hoping that something pops and that is from you. i love you. and i know my words SUCKS. but please, i have no idea how to proof it you when u like not giving me the chance. please, i know i messed up. -.-

Monday, March 21

hate to admit

sometimes i wish had no idea what the password is. because every time i open it, i might making me jealous. but, i don't care. i'm just hoping that she do not always like that. what making me sad is, his walls full with her names but not me. em, haish. i'm not that jealous. i'm not a fan fighting with him. but, what if i wall with his own friends and my walls full with his friend's name? haish. i have no idea. just chill. i love him and i'm not blind still have feelings.-.-

part of me

part of me is you. i am you. you my everything. i just miss you syg. 


i can't bare to think if you have the guts to leave me because f.y.i i not gonna leave you. 

haish. more i think, more i'm in love with you. ngegeh! -mohamad zulharizan bin mohamad- 

Thursday, March 10

answer the damn questions

what making me frustrated that i feel like i'm being fool and i'm just a place that everyone let go their damn anger. what am i suppose to be in front of them? i'm not an idiot, i'm not some kind that u can be fool with.but sometimes, i cried just because of that shit. what the hell? sometimes i can stand it by hiding my frustration. but everyone have their limits. even me have my patient's limits. don't cross that line. please. i'm trying my very best to please you. just to make u smile. i'm only asking why the fuck are u acting like that to me. i'm scared that i do something wrong towards you. like my mom say to me, 'everyone surround you can detect your mistakes are, but hardly appreciate what you have done'. and i totally agree with that. when i do something really wrong, whoa. look at their face angry with me. when i'm doing something good, look at them. not even say thanks or just smile. it really do make me feel like i'm being accepted. everyone is just like that even me. yes, you can hide you expression. but can never hide it forever. i don't what the heck r you thinking towards me or you don't know what the heck am i thinking. my mother once said 'jangan sesekali ubah air muka orang. sekali dha polah orang mcm ya, smpe bila-bila org ya akan kenang'.

Wednesday, March 9

school story

hellow readers!!

long time no updated. talking about my freaking school. i love going to school. because there, i get to meet my friends. and also at the same time, i really hate going to school when you realize that someone that you know is hating you so much. and hey, i don't even care. why, i live not just to pleased my haters feeling. as if i care. but please, i hate when someone that you know hate you because of what my other friends did n i did eventually. we thought that it just a joke. don't take it personal. i thought she act gangster enough she can handle the pressure. this is my first time i see a girl so 'embarrassed' just because of we tease her with the guy she like. i was like 'what the heck?' and the reasons are she having her period n she not in a good mood. if all the girls are just like her, there will be no peace, no mens in our fucking lives. just, control that hormone girl. every one had their time, but some girl that i know never act that way like u. seriously, i never met a girl like you. i don't know. if you want to say what we did is bullied you. we are not like that. we thought it just a girl because to pick on somebody can not thinking might hurt their feelings but when we teasing you, you so fucking mad at us. look, i'm sorry. i didn't meant to bully you or something. it just for fun god damn it. well, don't judge a book by its cover, right? i guess i wrong about you girl. i thought u a fun girl to hang with, do not spoil like other girl. but, i was freaking wrong. you just a spoil brat. i'm glad to know. i'm sincere to be friend w u. but, you all that stuff wrong. that's your old school. i don't care how fat u are. i don't care how poor u r. what i care, don't get it seriously when hanging w us. what we tease or say it just for fun. nothing to embarrassed you or just to make you blush. no, we never meant that way. i'm not gonna coax you or anything. what for? not my problem you become sulky. i just need you to understand us than we understand u. u r so hard to understand, you know that. i know your story w ur family. u think u haven't yet felt the love you want from your family. you rebel all your mother or your father even your brother n sister ask you to do and dons. but, don't let it on us dear. i love you being my friend girl. i really do. what had happen to us, i'm really frustrated. and also i heard some of your friends call us high class group? what is that suppose to mean? if we really high class person, oh please. i'm not even look at you or friend w you. if me being a high class person. i ignore what u even say to me. maybe its you or not someone in your class really hate me. don't you think so? you shout at people's face, you sometimes very rude, sometimes you really sweet. swear to god, why u even think that way? whose choose friend? me or u? please, your friend is getting on my nerve. really pissing me off. what the fuck girl? straight to point please, berbahas la kw spnjg2 ko mok. i don't even care. because you friend is snob person. i smile at her the first time i see her. i smile, what she do? not even look at me. i may annoy you, but you annoy me so much that i annoy you girl. i don't FUCKING care what you wanna say about me, leave out my friends. leave me out of it. don't make us the reason you so pissed off. just say. u kurang kasih sayang and u know the truth. he doesn't like you. that y u so mad. in this world, who wants to get into a fight? you? me? no one girl. it's you attitude. we all r not mature enough. even teachers not mature. hbus? not even think straight. please, think before you judge us. how u even know us when u not even talk to us? how do you know we r high class person o normal person? do even know where we hang out? not at starbucks or coffee beans or secret recipe. that's u. every saturday u went parkson. every sunday, explanet or marina bay or tanjung. that's where you all hang out. us? how can us be a high class person when u never hang out w us? so, don't judge us by what car we use or what brand our bags are. you the high class person. you and your friends. i'm sorry. i'm not gonna pity on u girl.