Friday, July 29


when you love some, when you hug someone that you really love. you just wanna hold it forever and not letting him go. but the fact it, the more you wanted him to stay. he actually gonna leave you. say goodbye to him or her is the hardest part when you know he once to be yours. you can say that he's yours forever with a smile on your face. now, even smile and say your name is the painful thing to do. when you know, he is not yours and what came out from our month only for a moment. for now, giving my love back to someone that i really love. i wondered if the love will last. even you hug him it still nothing. anything else, i'm sorry i make you cry. i'm sorry make all the tears drop. when you really love someone, sometimes even though it really pain in the ass to do. you just have to let him or her go. if you really do love someone, sacrifice your love for their happiness. the hardest fact is when you know and it is reality we are not good enough to be with someone we care. nothing gonna work out even you tried badly. i'm glad you are now happier than before. 

Monday, July 25


well, usually people sees me like i'm some kind bad teenage bad-ass attitude. i was like, huh? do you even know me before you even say such words? let me just say, you have been teaching for many years now? i know its your job to teach people. but don't you dare to humiliate me in front of people. since today. i lost my respect towards you teacher. you have words, but you didn't know where to use it. let me teach you how. if your really care about us student, don't humiliate me. i don't freaking care what you wanna think. you a teacher am i right? ustat prebet. pfffttt. look. if you really do care, if you wanna advice me. talk to me face to face alone-ah. understand teacher? i know its your job. but why me you really cared the most. as if i'm the only girl that smoke. why you x tego the others and humiliate them? why it must be me? look teacher, if you really wanna advice me, ask me what the heck is my problem with the smokes. first of all, i got many problem on my shoulder and i don't wanna ask anymore problem. i had enough teacher. second, everyone around me s-moke-ah. the people in the class will underestimate me and i can't handle with the pressure. the symptoms i had is i always get this i don't know what. wanna be heart attack i guess. haha. look, i don't care about my health thats why i smoke i stop for now. if something gets in my way, i start again. something like you teacher. thanks for the info. i'm shorter that the others because its me not because of the smoking habit.

Thursday, July 21


it's a war! i declare a war between us. haha. i'm just kidding dude. look, i know you are fan of my blog. *perasan. if you are reading this, read this slowly. i done and i had enough with you attitude. who the fuck you are to sell me out. fuck you la. you, first of all. i already ask for forgiveness and this is how you repay me back. you do you think you are? GOD? fuck. use the fucking brain to think. think what have you done shit face. i'm here keep myself quite not to tell sell you out while you wao! you are having fun take a revenge on my huh? read this slowly mister. i don't care who the fuck you are. my friend's friend, all i want is stop selling me out dude. i had enough of you. i know, it's all from my mistake. and i know, it really sucks to be in your place. dude, you ain't that desperate. you haven't done anything that may regret you yet. get a life. when people giving advice to you, accept it learn it, love it like it and most important is LIVE WITH IT. don't just nod. hear from both sides then you have your guts chance to have a voice. don't just blew it up. who do you think you are? because of last mistake, you wanna take a revenge on me. look dude, do anyhow, whatever you want. i won't stop haunting you unless you stop selling my dignity around. shit-face. the main thing is, G-E-T-A-L-I-F-E! i'm having one here. people with a scar can start a new life. it just a beginning dude. how if you that the rough-nest time your had never think of. dude, people that drink won't telling around that you are drinker. even me, i  had one shot alcoholic drink. do you see me telling people around that me used to drink. no right. so, stop being someone else and just be your fucking self. you better side. people can change dude. you just have to choose between you wanna be some bad-ass guy or a good guy. think before you say, think before you selling me out. i'm running out of my freaking patient here. halloo! stop pretending. even i know you for a while. i know people that your friend see everyday is not the real you. the real you isn't like this. i'm sorry again. stop and live a life start a journey. 

Tuesday, July 19

hard to believe, it's a fact.

i read my blog that i wrote about you. i wrote ' i will cherish every moment and bla2' right. it just stayed there. i remembered one little thing. don't even talk about sin when you do one. don't talk about religion when you not sure about shit ijan. you say cousins can marry each other, fuck you la. look, if i'm that desperate, i won't looking for you shit face. jeez, about religion you just think la. not with the book. and only fact we learn through book. even my agama sucks, i can think la. i do what the hell i want, i write what ever i like. read my title shit face. MY STORY, MY LIFE. you are not the one that i'm depending to. sucks for you. you can't control me. haha. DON'T YOU EVEN TALK ABOUT RELIGION OR SIN when you don't know shit. penuh kan ilmu d dada dlok k encik abang. papai L O S E R!
tuesday, 19.05.2011.  almost the happiest day ever and only one ruined my perfect day with my friends. you know how if people that you know seems like trying to get away or like avoiding form seeing  you. at the end, you grieving and flash back what you had done to that particular person. well today, i wanna talk about this person this evening. it sucks when the early morning he treats you very well and at the afternoon he seems different. i ask him to join us hanging with us, he just say he not use hanging with us? i was like, whatever lah. kecik hati la nak? people dah bawak u lepak, then u gik pdh x biasa lepak d lua. we ur friends am i right? then suddenly nya pdh gia. at that time, kecik hati brabis nangis pun ada time. nvmn la. chill jak la. mbak besabar kata org. hehe. until when? haish. xda mood lalu kakya. pening palak gik, olah nya gik. --' standard la people treat you that way.

Sunday, July 17

Persatuan Kadet Bersatu Malaysia Darat

aku siyok giler time aku kat kem. aku tak pernah raasa mcm tu sgat. even though bjauhan dgan org yg tsayang, aku happy sgat. 4 hari kat kem oya, sibu tak ckup. mula2 kta org dtang, makanan dior, ya rabbi. siyap ada ulat. nang nyaman asa. ckap ttang bilit pulak. aek takde pulak! haha. ada ya x smpat, tak mndik. yg smpat mndi. mula2 tido, kna kacau benda. aku dgan room mate aku sedap betui tidur. haha

yana, zaty and me! 

amirul and awang. gmba laki pkbm tok jak ku pgg. before brangkat balit miri. hitam kan? haha xD

aku n pia. smpat gik bgmba kat lapang sasar, sibu ;)

casx pake tudung ;) kiut kan? hehe

kat dewan oya. hehe. ;)

mekorg semua temasuk dgan abg hazami. kembar yana mekorg nunggah. hahaha;D

semua itam dah kulit. haha. tang gg jak nmpk. haha

before bpisah dgan bapak. ;(

mekorg kat batu smpang niah mun x salah. bpisah dgan bapak time ya. muka bok lekak ngis bgmba2. hahaxD

p/s : aku K L M J bah. sumpah ku rasa nak ngis nga gmba tok. i cry for them, i laugh with them, i hang out w them. now, its my last year. hard for me to let them go. ;(

Thursday, July 14

love for me is like you drink a glass of wine or other alcohol. when your first time drinking that stuff, u feel like bitter and hot at your throat. but when you really use to drink that stuff, you become some kind of addicted i guess and also that bitter hot at your throat gone. well, you realize it or not to learn about getting through this life you have to do some mistake. not really huge kind of mistake, just mistake people usually have. culture shock. when you use to your life that is hard and some times you like giving up on your life and you feels like nothing can change your mind. actually, to learn about life you have to be part of it. you have to cry, scream, cursed and whatever stuff. it is not a must thing to do, but occasionally you will. example for me. i had being through a rough time in my school and at home. nearly being slap by own father because of someone tell bad stuff about me. when i flash back about it, all you can do is smile. what i can do about my love life is smile and enjoy with whoever i'm being with. giving my trust to tell story about me is very hard. i cry because of my mistake, i laugh because of it, i smile because i know what did is so stupid and dumb. look, you can escape all those mistake but you don't know what's coming next. what comes around goes around. what i did to those boys i ever known, i'm sorry. i'm sorry i cheat behind your back. i'm sorry i lied. and also thanks for being part of it. i can tell story from my experience and what i had learn from it. for this year, i got awangku haziq asyraf. hope he is the one. you just have to take that risk whether you like it or not. ;)

Thursday, July 7


hello people! i just found out that the girl we use to fight about, he got feeling's towards her. that's why he worried when the girl enter somebody group. fuck you. haha. what's the story behind the title are i use to smoke that's why i shisha. using shisha i stop smoking. why? there's a night when my cousin bring us to wp, i spon shisha. he just drive. haha. i was so dumb i smoke and also shisha. stupid right. and then, i came back home, i puke. it's really disgusting.yuukk! 

i start to smoke when i was in form 2 i guess. i smoke and i stop and i smoke again. for that time, i really couldn't stop. until i was in form 4. form 4, my friend introduce me to shisha. since then, i shisha jak. smoke? no. rarely touch. i smoke because in form 2 i was so CULTURE SHOCKED and i mess up. my name is every where in my school. really bad. i didn't school for about a month i think. i was so ashamed. form 2 i stop escaping class. and in form 3, my smoking habit is become worst. i couldn't stop. for me, smoking really bad for me and the others. i can't prevent the others to smoke while i used to smoke. for short, if i got prob i smoke. but, it was the old me. 

the new me, shisha? sometimes. smoke? no. yeay for me. but the bad inside me is PENDENDAM. sometimes i keep quiet and daydream, i think of something that really making me cry. the person that i need is my close grandma. but, she passed away when i still young. until now, if i see her grave even talking about her, i still cry. besides my mom, the person that i trust is my grandma. 

my trust and my hopes towards someone is really hesitate. means that, i don't know if i'm giving the trust and hope they keep it real. i smile because wanna look happy. not sad. every smile got a thousands meanings love. 

Saturday, July 2

when ever people say that you love them, you just have to choose. choose between if you trust them or not. both  having their own risks. if you trust them, you get your heart broken. but there gonna be your new adventure. why? well, you get dump, you being fooled and everything. about not trusting them, they you a shit-face. admit it. to trust someone really takes time. i know. but some people, no. its a big no to them. you have to trust them. did i mentioned HAVE? you have to trust them. if not they'll say you a jerk. haha. nehh. as for me, what i like about this whole thing love. its fun when you get your own guardian angle. it hurts when they make you cry. every moment i will cherish, every sad moment i hate. the loneliness is fill, i'm happy. that's my happy story. nGee~